My Korean Husband

Intercultural Life

Month: December 2018

Our IVF Story

Going through IVF in South Korea

I have been trying to edit this video for over a year. Every time I’d look at the footage I would end up crying and all those emotions would come back. I can’t emphasis enough how emotional it is going through IVF…

I also wish I’d filmed more of what we went through but at the time I didn’t want the camera anywhere near me.

We did end up vlogging the IVF process because we wanted to document what we went through, and also share our story with others. We would meet people who didn’t know what IVF was, or people who’d heard of it but didn’t know much. Even for those that have friends going through it, it’s hard to understand what it’s really like. I hope documenting it and talking about it helps others understand. Many people are going through this all the time, but people just don’t realise it. As we said in the video, it is hard to always be explaining it to people.

We are lucky to be living in Korea. The main reason why we moved to Seoul was to do IVF. Now we have many reasons to be in Seoul, but that was the initial motivation to move. When we went through IVF the Korean government paid for half of it, and we’ve heard now that the government will pay for 70% of it! This is probably to do with Korea’s declining birth rate and they are throwing money at anything to make people have more babies. But in many other countries IVF can be extremely expensive.

Everyone has a different experience of IVF. Things may be done differently in other countries, or the drugs may not affect someone the same way they affect others. And the saddest reason for a different experience may be when people have the opposite outcome of us…

I can be pretty blunt in the video about what people shouldn’t say to couples struggling with infertility and I wasn’t sure if I was going to leave that in. I asked people in a similar situation if I should leave those bits in and they said yes. They want others to know this.

I did cut out a part where I talked about how it can be hard to maintain friendships with friends who already have kids. I totally understand how bitter some people with infertility can get and feel they have to break off those friendships. We have tried to maintain positivity and the knowledge that we will have a happy life together even if we don’t have kids. But I also don’t know what my feelings would have been several years down the track. Even now, after having Yul, I still can have anger and bitterness towards women who can easily get pregnant. I try not to spiral down with that negativity like that, but as we approach the topic of having another baby and what we will have to go through to achieve that, it’s hard not to see others easily conceive and feel bitterness. It’s hard when other couples can get pregnant by doing a loving act one time, while others struggle for years going through fertility treatments.

Yul really is a miracle baby. After the first round of IVF I really thought it would be so many more tries, but I’m so thankful I became pregnant then. We are so happy to be parents.

Already there are so many lovely comments on the video over on YouTube, thank you everyone for being so supportive.

I also have my comic series about endometriosis, infertility and IVF here. New episodes coming next year.

Hugh’s Amazing Experience on ‘Thru’!

Watch the video to see more about Hugh’s experience!

Earlier in the year Hugh travelled to Spain to compete in this TV show with contestants around the world. In this video we show you some footage of that while Hugh talks about the experience.

More from Hugh:

“When they first contacted me to be on a TV show I wasn’t sure if it was real or not. It was on my bucket list to be on a survival show like that. Realising it was real I was kind of nervous if I could do it or not. But was thinking that it’s a good way to challenge myself and could help my family. I want my son to be proud of me and my wife to be proud of me. So I said yes I would join.

 I went to Spain to film this TV show called ‘Thru’. I went with another Korean Jina Kim who is also a YouTuber. It was my first time to go to Europe so I was very excited but at the same time I was very nervous.

 I met other contestants and people were really nice, people from all different countries. I had a once in a lifetime experience. Because of this I met so many good people and now a few of them are my best friends, even though we are not in the same country.

 I did my best, so I hope you enjoy the show. It was really fun, so if you want to challenge something in your life, I recommend you try next season too!”

This TV show is shown around the world so see if it’s available where you are. In Korea it’s on the ‘Insight TV’ channel if you have SK Broadband. It’s also available for streaming on their website. Click here.

Hugh Thru Water
Hugh being pulled out of water
Filming Thru in Spain
Hugh in Spain

Keeping the Romance Alive

Keeping the romance alive?

Having a one year old and both of us working means that at the moment it’s hard for us to have any type of date time. We haven’t been able to go see a movie together for so long. The other day we finished filming at KBS (for an upcoming TV show) and we realised we still had some time before picking up Yul from daycare, and we couldn’t do any other work at the moment. I was excited that maybe we could try to have a date but Hugh insisted that even just walking together was a date. Now the question is: was he being super lazy OR was he being super romantic because any time together he considered special date time? haha

We did end up going to a cafe and doing some shopping together.

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