Intercultural Life

Category: Culture (Page 21 of 24)

Traditional and modern Korean culture.

300 Days Anniversary

Just have to make it clear. It’s not our 300 days now- this was a while ago!

Koreans tend to celebrate a lot more anniversaries than we do. I think this is a more modern thing that has been influenced by romance in media. It is normal to celebrate the 100 days anniversary and depending usually on what the girl expects, certain day anniversaries after that. This is 100 days of dating, not marriage.100 days is significant in Korea culture. For example, 100 days after a baby is born is celebrated.

We acknowledged our 100 days, which is obviously quite early in a relationship, but we didn’t do anything very special. I have seen Korean girls demand a lot just for 100 days though- like flowers and a cake and a gift and dinner. Not all are like that though.

So by the time our 300 days anniversary came around it wasn’t something I was thinking about so I felt bad when my husband (then boyfriend) surprised me with red roses and a cake. He knew I didn’t remember though, so it was okay. We haven’t celebrated another “day anniversaries” since then and I don’t pay much attention to all the other, often commercial, “special days” in Korea. Not every one does something for them, as there are a lot where you are expected to give something in particular or do something in particular.

My husband wasn’t the first Korean guy I dated (shock horror!). There were a few before him, but I only really discovered these anniversaries and days because of him. When I first dated a Korean guy (many years ago) I had never watched a Korean drama and wasn’t familiar with K-Pop. I had no idea of the things Korean girls expected from their boyfriends. I suspect that the first 2 Korean guys I dated deliberately withheld this information from me so they’d never have to do it. They were not very romantic guys at all. It was only as I got more involved in Korean culture later that I realised there was this whole very romantic culture with Korean youth. So I’m glad my husband finds it easy to be romantic and surprises me sometimes.

 

Cutesy photos

Well I learn something new every day. I’ve mentioned before that I don’t use aegyo very much with my husband. Right from the beginning of our relationship I was a straight talking Western woman. I mean ‘western’ as in from a Western culture… not ‘western’ as in The Wild West! hehe.

I didn’t ever need cutesy words or mannerisms to attract my husband so I just assumed he didn’t like that much. I’m discovering now how these things that I thought only worked on other Korean guys work on him too. I was just messing around taking a cutesy photo like that. Trying to copy how Korean girls do it, just for a laugh. I was surprised at how cute my husband thought it was. If it was an average Australian guy I can imagine them cringing and telling me I look stupid. But I’m not with an Australian guy, I’m with a Korean and I’m beginning to realise that Korean girls have it all worked out! I should give them more credit. For a later post I might explain the certain techniques Korean girls use for photos too.

So if a Western woman wants to attract a Korean guy should she do cutesy things like this? I’m not really sure about this. Copying what Korean girls do may not have the desired affect. It is probably better to get to know a guy better first and find out if he appreciates cutesy things before attempting it. There are some Korean guys who seek out non-Korean girlfriends because they don’t like the aegyo things Korean girls do. Also some Korean guys don’t like it when non-Korean girls call them ‘Oppa’. So tread carefully. But if they do like it- relax and have fun with it!

Smoothie

Confucianism again. In particular filial piety. The Korea Blog has a good article on filial piety in Korea HERE

This is something that comes up sometimes, especially when we are staying with my parents. My relationship with my parents seems too casual and not respectful enough to my husband. While the interactions with my parents are quite normal for an Australian family, it would be really unusual for a Korean family. Occasionally I get a lecture from him about how I don’t respect my parents enough. And just sometimes he guilt me enough…

My sister and I do most of the cooking when we are home. My dad is quite lazy about cooking but somehow he magically appears when my sister and I were making something for ourselves. Although the ingredients might be right there, he often can’t be bothered cooking it himself, so we quite often would tell him no when he asked for some of what we had just cooked. Doesn’t really bother him either way. Well… can’t say no if you are in Korea. Not just for parents but when anyone older asks for food you’ve just cooked. I’ll explore that topic in a later post though.

In the incident in the comic, I really did sit there thinking about it. I couldn’t enjoy my mango smoothie because of what my husband had said. Even though all the ingredients were right there and my dad could make one himself if he wanted I thought more about it and decided to make him and my mother one too. And then I felt better.

Letting Food Go Cold

So most of us have probably eaten cold pizza for breakfast or something right? This is different to that. I have noticed Koreans don’t worry as much about food going cold. I’m always hesitant to make generalisations because some things, especially if I’m judging just from my husband, are just a personality quirk and not a cultural difference. Korea however, is one of the most homogeneous countries in the world. When there is not much diversity you do get a culture that really has a certain way of doing things. So there are some things we can say is the Korean way of doing it.

This is something I have noticed and I noticed it early on when I first made Korean friends. If hot food is made and cools down, reheating it isn’t a priority. Many times I witnessed a meal being made and the food that was made first (and that I thought should be eaten hot) was left on the table while other food is being made. That food is then eaten cold even though it was originally hot.

The difference to Western culture is that we usually want our food to stay hot or at least warm. Do you remember being yelled at when it’s dinner time because you haven’t come to the table yet and the food is getting cold? Think how often we use phrases like “come get it while it’s hot!”

Koreans, I’ve noticed, can put leftover cold fried chicken on the table and no one is like “You should reheat that!” Once food has cooled down there isn’t much desire for them to heat it up again.

When I was helping my husband’s mother cook dinner while we were in Korea I made a dish, but she still had to make some more so it was still going to be a while before we ate. I started to panic about my dish because I was worried about it getting cold and not tasting as good. I put foil over it trying to keep the warmth in. In the end when it was put on the table it was cold but it didn’t bother anyone.

You may know a Korean who always wants their food to stay hot, but in general not reheating seems to be the norm. Sometimes people who have stayed in Korea might say things like “I never noticed that” about whatever the issue may be. But I think living constantly with a Korean means you pick up on these little things.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Guys Showering Together

OKAY! Korean guys showering together? There are a lot of things that Korean men do, like: physical affection, holding hands, liking feminine stuff, liking pink, showering together, sleeping in the same bed, that a Western person might see as gay. Of course it is quite ignorant to assume Korean men doing these things are gay without taking into account that it’s another culture. It also doesn’t make them any less masculine either- which is an insult I’ve seen many times. Non Asians complaining about ‘girly Asian guys’ simply don’t understand the cultural differences. I find the Western concept of masculinity to be quite restrictive and stupid and I like the freedom Korean guys have to do what they want and like what they want without being called a “girl” like it’s a really bad thing.

Koreans are very used to nudity and aren’t afraid to be naked in front of each other. Going to public baths together is simply a social event. I think for Western men any showering together is somewhat forced, like in locker rooms. A Western guy coming home from work with his friend wouldn’t suggest, “Let’s make it quicker and jump in the shower together.”

The Korean guys next door to us would. When they either came home from work or had been swimming, they had no problem with showering together. Not every Korean guy does this though. Some of the other guys in the share house would laugh a bit at them and make jokes with me- possibly realising it was quite strange to me.

I have noticed that sometimes people who have grown up in a Western country can make too many assumptions when they start getting interested in K-pop. They will read about Korean male groups showering together or sleeping in the same bed and think they must be gay. Sometimes it even fuels their fantasies. But once you understand the culture more you realise that these things are no indicator of someone’s sexual orientation.


Adele Pregnant

OKAY obviously he knows what sex is, he was just being silly. But his surprise at her being pregnant was real. There are 2 reasons for this. He is a big fan and hadn’t really thought of her as an ordinary human who can have a boyfriend and get pregnant (haha). The second reason is related to why he assumed something like that. In Korea, idols don’t have the same sort of freedom as idols in Western countries. While there are a lot of things I like about Korean music, this is something that I think is not that good.

You simply don’t really hear about Korean pop stars getting pregnant accidentally like that. They are controlled very much by their companies and aren’t allowed to. While they are young and under contract they have to do what they are told and their personal lives are pretty much put on hold. Even announcing having a boyfriend or girlfriend is a big deal so announcing a pregnancy outside of marriage would be shocking. People’s heads would probably explode. Korea is still very conservative in this aspect. It is very difficult for unmarried mothers. This is one of the reasons why there are so many babies for Western couples to adopt even though Korea is a first world country, because they don’t have provisions put in place for single mothers. However, somewhere like Australia there is government help and not really much judgement.

People have suspicions in Korea though. For example if a girl group is going really well and are really popular and then one member suddenly has to go study in another country to study or has some undisclosed illness. People suspect that there was an accidental pregnancy.

So this was why my husband was so surprised that it was announced that Adele is pregnant, not just because the world is told, but that people are happy and congratulating her. It just wouldn’t happen like that in Korea.

Shoes

shoesoff

So in Korea, Japan… and probably most of Asia… NO SHOES INSIDE! Even though many Australian families may choose to not wear shoes inside it’s not a cultural norm here. It’s completely acceptable to wear shoes inside here. Because of this when I’m in Korea or Japan I have such a hard time. I’m so slow! Korean and Japanese people can take their shoes off so fast and and slip them back on in 1 second. I’m always left behind fumbling with my shoes. It’s actually something that stresses me out a bit because I know I end up looking like an idiot. Sometimes when trying to get shoes back on quickly while standing up and I’ve fallen over…

I know part of the problem is that many of my shoes are difficult to get on and off- because they were bought in Australia- whereas Koreans are usually wearing shoes that are easier to remove. And simply because I’m not used to doing it. I wasn’t born in a country where this is normal.

Hopefully I’ll get used to the constant taking off shoes. When we find an apartment in Sydney it’s probably going to be set up in a more Korean style so shoes will have to come off. At the moment I’m at the parent’s house in my hometown while my husband is job and apartment hunting in Sydney.

Also, just trying out another style of drawing which is why this comic looks different to others.

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