Intercultural Life

Category: Relationships (Page 9 of 22)

Relationships with Koreans- friendships and romance

Henry

Henry

His man crush of the moment is on Henry because he has been watching him in that TV show (male celebrities experience being in the army).

One of the things I like about Korea and Korean guys is that they can openly show affection for other men without feeling like they are compromising their masculinity. They compliment each others’ appearances and show physical affection easily. It’s normal to have what we may call a crush on another man, but in a platonic way. A good example of this is seeing how excited Kim Woo Bin was when G-Dragon called him.

I’ve definitely seen a clash of cultures before when I’ve seen Korean men turn to Australian men and say “You are very handsome”. Completely normal for a Korean men to say that, but it’s not something Aussie guys are used to hearing from straight men and they can feel a bit uncomfortable.

While I was making this comic my husband stopped me in the middle of it because he wanted to show me another video of Henry…

Babies on Facebook

Babies on Facebook

How things change! Once you start thinking about having kids, babies become a lot more interesting. I also think that because it’s closer friends having babies now I’m much happier to be bombarded with photos.

And of course there is the extra element of what our kids will look like. When we were on the train coming back from Suwon the other week, we met a family where the father was Caucasian American and the wife was Korean. They had 2 adorable little girls. As it happened, they were going to get passports renewed and had photo albums with them to prove the kids are theirs, so the father showed us photos of the girls as babies and how their looks changed. They had green and blue eyes when born that changed to brown and their hair colour had darkened as they got older.

Han and Sophie have the cutest baby in the world, and seeing their baby Alice is also exciting for us because we are similar to them and we can start to speculate about our future kids. And for those wondering – no pregnancy announcements any time soon. We still have a lot of stuff we need to do before having a kid.

Many things to say

Mnay things to say

Today’s comic is a bit sad. I always have many things to tell my mother-in-law but it’s really hard because my Korean is so basic. I studied Korean part time for 1 year but it’s only now that I’m in Korea I’m studying hard and trying to put it into use. However, speaking casually with Korean friends and throwing in lots of English is very different from speaking with my parents-in-law where I have to be speaking at a higher politeness level, and they have no English at all. Also there is the problem of dialect. Although there are things I can say in Korean it is very hard and confidence is such an important aspect of speaking in another language. Even if technically I know how to say something, it can be hard to remember it quickly enough.

I really envy my husband’s level of English because although his English is not perfect, he can express himself really well in English. I want to be able to do that in Korean. I’m studying every day but it is very overwhelming.

My husband told his mother that I have many things to say but I can’t yet, and she said she is looking forward to when I can speak well because it will be fun.

Alone for a Day

Alone for a day

Some days we talk all day and are joined at the hip all day, but other days we might not see each other that much even though we are in the same house. My desk is upstairs and it’s much warmer up there so I’ll be working or studying there. My husband has to look after the tiny shop his parents have (mostly snacks for students) while they work in the greenhouses. So some days we don’t see each other as much but I know he is nearby. When he went to Seoul for a day nothing was that different, but not having his presence in the house made me so lonely.

Also, sometimes even though we are in the same house we talk on kakao talk to each other, and some people noticed I tweeted at him the other day to come upstairs… hehe

Surprise

Surprise

It was like Christmas! Seriously, the last time I got a new bike was a Christmas a very long time ago. I was really reluctant to go downstairs at first because my husband hadn’t told me why. Often when I’m called downstairs it’s because someone in the village wants to meet me. Sometimes it is properly meeting – there was one nice guy who wanted so speak English with me – but sometimes it feels more like they have just come to stare at the white person. Sometimes I’m in a happy mood to deal with that, other times I’m feeling a bit more introverted. I thought it was a situation like that, where someone wants to see me because they have rarely ever seen a white person and I was worried how I looked. My mood changed instantly when I saw the pink bike!

My mother-in-law felt bad for me that I’m working in our room most of the time. I really like long walks but my husband doesn’t and it’s not a good idea for me to wander off alone around here. But now I have a bike to ride around the village! The neighbours joked that I’ll run away now that I’ll have a bike because they saw me racing up and down the road on it.

New Haircut

New haircut

He gets really shy about compliments because I don’t think he has actually received that many in his life. He was never the handsome guy so it’s strange for him that people now compliment him. He doesn’t really fit into the  general Korean girls’ standard of beauty so when international people say something like, “You look like this actor” or “You look like this Kpop star” he gets embarrassed and says he hopes Korean girls don’t see those comments because he dreads to see their reactions.

For example, last night he was playing poker with my brother and some Korean girls and I walked in and affectionately called him a “handsome boy” because I like his new haircut. A Korean girl there immediately reacted with such disdain, “Handsome boy???” He then pointed out that his wife is allowed to call him a handsome boy regardless of what anyone else thinks!

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