My brother visited for a weekend and went busking in Hongdae. Unfortunately we had torrential rain for most of the weekend, but it cleared up enough for him to go busking for a short time. He has performed in many countries but this was the first time in South Korea. A lot of people commented later saying they wish they had known he would be playing, but until the last minute we really were not sure if he would be able to. He will come back sometime though. My brother is a full time drummer (and also plays real drums of course), he plays in bands but also regularly does bucket drumming. A video of him playing went viral a few years ago and since then he has been invited to play at events around the world. He also does a lot of live streaming now where he teaches some drumming techniques or streams his busking.
Just a little video about these types of jumping spiders in Korea. I’ve shown these spiders in the Nicholalala Webtoon before.
The more I filmed him, the more I thought he was cute, so I carefully put him outside.
Since I’ve been photographing bees and blossoms a lot for my paintings, I’ve noticed how many flies were hanging around too. The bees are very focused and busy and have an important job, but I always wonder about the flies…
Although it’s a lot easier to go to Kpop concerts in Korea, it can still involve some traveling. Last weekend we went to Daegu for the day for a concert.
This is quite hastily edited because we had to re-edit when the program crashed… nooo. If you are only interested in travel in Korea skip the concert montage and if you are are only interested in iKON, skip the travel bits if you want.
So some extra stuff about the concert: Daegu was very different to Seoul. It was a smaller, all standing venue. The crowd was a lot younger in general and there were many families. Lots of kids. It wasn’t organized as well and there were many young girls who hadn’t been to a proper concert before and were lacking some concert etiquette. It was really pushy at the start! There were also many people who were new fans or maybe got free tix so didn’t know that much about iKON – like didn’t know the Show Me the Money stuff. BUT it was still very fun. Awesome concert! I’m sorry my camera work was so shaky, like I said, it was more pushy. A lot of the footage is the encore where they run everywhere which is why we were moving around at that time. That’s the end of the concert when everything gets crazy. The moment where B.I stuck his face into the crowd was longer, but I almost dropped my camera, so cut all that hahaha. Security also did not care about filming at all… in fact there was hardly any security at all.
This Nicholalala episode was inspired by Lunar New Year.
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(All Nicholalala episodes have some basis in fact, but I blur reality and imagination. Wild boars did really destroy part of one of the burial mounds and previously squirrels were hiding their nuts in one).
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Words can hold a lot of power, but they can also lose that power very quickly. We don’t get that many hate comments on YouTube but they are usually the racist variety. We’ve seen it all, so when the only thing someone can say is a very old and stereotypical racist insult, it was hilarious to us. Hugh really burst out laughing like that because it’s so ridiculous: it’s not hurting him and instead just makes the commenter look stupid. (For those that don’t know, the word that was used is very racist and offensive but has been around for a long time). We get comments from neo nazis sometimes… that ‘c’ word seems almost quaint in comparison.
We’ve talked a lot with YouTubers about hate comments and everyone has come to the conclusion that hate comments are not usually a representation of you and what you do, but rather a reflection of that individual commenter. It shows more about them than it does about you. A lot of YouTubers just end up feeling bad for those people that leave a lot of hate comments or spend their energy actively hating them, because people that are happy in themselves don’t do that. It’s people who are miserable and troubled, or have some type of issue in their own life that are doing it.
Particularly nasty hate comments can be hurtful but they often end up as funny stories to tell to other YouTubers/bloggers. I’m also quick to copy and paste horrible comments to share with my friends so we can laugh at how ridiculous it is.
What I didn’t show in this vlog is the shrimp being cooked alive in front of us. That was a little bit traumatic because they jump and bang against the clear pot lid as they die… Korean seafood can be very interesting and sometimes scary. Even Hugh doesn’t like it all, though the photographer with us ate everything. Since our friends are Korean American and not that used to this type of raw seafood, we did end up cooking some of the raw fish and scallops and they were delicious. I know some people think the raw taste is better, but while I do like raw fish sometimes, I did find the taste improved for me when we cooked it. Luckily we were the only people at this restaurant in the middle of nowhere and the family that owns it were very nice and understanding.
If you are interested in the accommodation we stayed in check out this video here.
by Nic • Relationships, Uncategorized, Visas • Tags: intercultural marriage, international marriage, international relationship, marrying a korean, marrying a korean man, marrying in korea, my korean husband, office registry wedding, secret wedding, secret weddings to korean men
Chloe and I talk about the reality of why you might have a secret wedding if you marry a Korean.
We talked a little bit in the video about friends reactions and as Chloe said, questions about proposals and diamond rings, but I think people really don’t realise how hurtful some comments can be. Especially in western culture, we get so hung up on this idea of when the marriage started on paper that people can say some things without realising how frustrating and hurtful that can be. I’ve had extended family members try to insist that my office registry wedding was my only real wedding. That type of thinking really casts a shadow on the actual weddings we want to share with family and friends and are just inappropriate, because actually it’s our relationship and we get to choose when we publicly commit ourselves to each other. When people are forced by necessity to marry in a government office, others shouldn’t try to lessen that just because it’s not how they expect a marriage to start. From what I’ve seen from other international couples we know, is that regardless of how the marriage started or if there had to be a secret office registry wedding, they are all happy with the choices they made.
We’ve been in Seoul since last week and have been pretty busy, so haven’t been able to upload much. BUT we are filming a lot of stuff while here.
Also while here I had some hospital visits and filmed this quick video about restaurants in Korean hospitals.
Not all Korean hospitals are like this, but they are definitely different to Australian ones.
I made this comic quite a while ago but it was never posted because it was supposed to go in the book (for the Korean market). Since we are now changing the format of the book a lot (one of the reasons why it’s taking so long) I can post it on here.
Traditional weddings are rarely done these days in Korea unfortunately, but I’m glad we had one. We were carried in ‘gamas’ by our friends, which gave Hugh’s friends the chance to complain about how heavy he is!
There is also a regular episode up. This episode was actually the first Nicholalala episode I ever drew, for the Challenge League on LINE Webtoon before I became a featured artist:
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This is what we did on my birthday. We just planned to go for a wander and ended up walking through these parks, World Cup Park and Haneul Sky Park. Wonderful place for couples to go on romantic dates because the area is so large, it’s not crowded at all. LOVE IS THE MOMENNNTTT!!! (That’s from a cheesy song from the ridiculous Korean drama The Heirs).
by Nic • Uncategorized • Tags: dating koren man online, korea dating culture, korea: dating and marriage, married to korean man, my korean husband, online dating korean guy, pregnant to korean man, prostitution in korea, single mothers korea
We get many many emails from girls from around the world who have started relationships with Korean guys online and have expected a serious relationship and are distraught when it doesn’t turn out like that. We also get worrying emails from girls who say their online boyfriend – who they have never met – is usually sweet to them but sometimes he makes her uncomfortable or pressures her (with sexual questions) or is bad in some way. To Hugh, it’s very obvious that the Korean guy is just messing with the girl and doesn’t view it seriously at all, but it’s very hard to answer this emails and know that the girl’s heart is probably breaking. So that’s why we want to just warn people in the first place. We always want to make positive videos about international relationships, but we also need to stress that not every relationship is healthy, especially ones with someone they have never met and where the glossy, glitzy world of Kpop and Kdramas has blinded someone from seeing the truth. It got to the point where we needed to address it in a video. I also get messages from girls asking how they can find a Korean husband and the guy being Korean is the most important to them. Hugh secretly frequents chatrooms and conversations online where people from around the world are interested in Korea and sees a lot of people with very idealized views of Korean men and this can manifest in bad ways like hating Korean women and then getting into bad and sometimes dangerous relationships.
It’s very difficult to talk about the stigma of single mothers in Korea… because it sucks… it’s very slowly changing, but it can be very confronting when you realise how deeply ingrained this stigma is. As the world changes and Koreans travel more and live in other countries, there are a lot more babies born out of wedlock but unfortunately the women can be unaware of how it is viewed in Korea. That’s why we want to urge people to be so careful. In Korea it’s still so important to do things the traditional way of getting parents’ approval before getting married and being married before any pregnancy takes place. As Hugh has mentioned before, there is a lack of sex education in Korea, so don’t expect a guy to have protection. Be careful in situations that could lead to an unexpected pregnancy. It could end up being way more difficult than you imagined.
I do also get asked questions from single mothers who are interested in a Korean man in particular and are concerned because they already had children. It depends on the individual, but the social stigma can play a big part, even if they are not in Korea. So in general it’s much harder for single mothers to pursue relationships with Korean men unfortunately. It wasn’t that long ago in western culture that there was a huge stigma as well and to this day there is so much inequality in regards to single parents. Think about how single fathers are lauded for trying so hard for their children and are forgiven for mistakes, while single mothers have terrible assumptions made about them and are held way more accountable. Before judging Korea too harshly we can look at the problems in our own cultures too.
I also wanted to clarify that when we talked about prostitution, we don’t want to put down sex workers because we realise how much sexism and inequality lead to this huge industry. We are definitely of the opinion of legalising and better conditions for sex workers and that Korea should be addressing and stopping sex trafficking and all the problems that are in this huge industry that people turn a blind eye to.
Many many topics come under the broad umbrella of Dating and Marriage, so please let us know if there is one you want us to talk about in particular.
He likes to think I’m such a baby and so helpless so it’s funny to turn it back on him.
Also it’s not just about being forgetful, it’s because once I’ve got my shoes on, I can’t go back inside! I’m not Korean and haven’t mastered the getting shoes on in 2 seconds thing. It’s such a hassle having to take my shoes off again, go back inside and get whatever I forgot and then put my shoes back on.
In Sydney we had a no shoes inside rule as well, but we’d ignore it if we had to run and get something quickly. I’ll get in big trouble if my inlaws see me do that though.