We get many many emails from girls from around the world who have started relationships with Korean guys online and have expected a serious relationship and are distraught when it doesn’t turn out like that. We also get worrying emails from girls who say their online boyfriend – who they have never met – is usually sweet to them but sometimes he makes her uncomfortable or pressures her (with sexual questions) or is bad in some way. To Hugh, it’s very obvious that the Korean guy is just messing with the girl and doesn’t view it seriously at all, but it’s very hard to answer this emails and know that the girl’s heart is probably breaking. So that’s why we want to just warn people in the first place. We always want to make positive videos about international relationships, but we also need to stress that not every relationship is healthy, especially ones with someone they have never met and where the glossy, glitzy world of Kpop and Kdramas has blinded someone from seeing the truth. It got to the point where we needed to address it in a video. I also get messages from girls asking how they can find a Korean husband and the guy being Korean is the most important to them. Hugh secretly frequents chatrooms and conversations online where people from around the world are interested in Korea and sees a lot of people with very idealized views of Korean men and this can manifest in bad ways like hating Korean women and then getting into bad and sometimes dangerous relationships.
It’s very difficult to talk about the stigma of single mothers in Korea… because it sucks… it’s very slowly changing, but it can be very confronting when you realise how deeply ingrained this stigma is. As the world changes and Koreans travel more and live in other countries, there are a lot more babies born out of wedlock but unfortunately the women can be unaware of how it is viewed in Korea. That’s why we want to urge people to be so careful. In Korea it’s still so important to do things the traditional way of getting parents’ approval before getting married and being married before any pregnancy takes place. As Hugh has mentioned before, there is a lack of sex education in Korea, so don’t expect a guy to have protection. Be careful in situations that could lead to an unexpected pregnancy. It could end up being way more difficult than you imagined.
I do also get asked questions from single mothers who are interested in a Korean man in particular and are concerned because they already had children. It depends on the individual, but the social stigma can play a big part, even if they are not in Korea. So in general it’s much harder for single mothers to pursue relationships with Korean men unfortunately. It wasn’t that long ago in western culture that there was a huge stigma as well and to this day there is so much inequality in regards to single parents. Think about how single fathers are lauded for trying so hard for their children and are forgiven for mistakes, while single mothers have terrible assumptions made about them and are held way more accountable. Before judging Korea too harshly we can look at the problems in our own cultures too.
I also wanted to clarify that when we talked about prostitution, we don’t want to put down sex workers because we realise how much sexism and inequality lead to this huge industry. We are definitely of the opinion of legalising and better conditions for sex workers and that Korea should be addressing and stopping sex trafficking and all the problems that are in this huge industry that people turn a blind eye to.
Many many topics come under the broad umbrella of Dating and Marriage, so please let us know if there is one you want us to talk about in particular.