We get a lot of messages where people need advice and we do out best to answer them. We decided it was time to make a video talking about how we make our marriage work and what things we do to make a happy life together. The video was actually over 30 mins long but of course cut down, so there was many more things we had to say!
We wrote down what we wanted to say, but I ended up doing more of the talking because Hugh isn’t as comfortable in English for a more scripted video BUT if you get him in person he will talk your ear off!
Hugh says: Pumpkin (hobak in Korean), the pumpkin flower is beautiful but pumpkins in Korea have a lot of wrinkles and creases so it doesn’t look pretty. So we say apples and watermelon are pretty. There is even a saying when someone is putting on a lot of makeup to try and look good, “Do you think you can look pretty just by paining black lines on you?” (Like a watermelon).
Even though I know pumpkin means something different in English, and Nichola will use the English word, my automatic reaction is to not like it. So I just tease her saying I mean both meanings when I say “pumpkin”.
I have yet been able to enforce this rule. Maybe never having our own place and never the freedom to be completely nude before has caused this situation of constant nudity at home now.
It has lead to some interesting situations, like the story we told in our recent SEOUL LIFE video.
Martina comes to visit her old stuff! Simon and Martina (Eat Your Kimchi) were in Korea for a few days and Martina came to visit our apartment (Simon was sick unfortunately). A lot of our furniture is from their old apartment and their studio. It has been such a big help to us to already have this furniture and not having to buy it all once we moved to Seoul. We are really lucky to have them as friends. We actually talked about when we first met in Sydney years ago, and how far we’ve come.
Going back to the countryside was a bit strange. There were things that were comfortable, but other things that were weird. Also not really having a purpose because its not our home anymore leaves a weird feeling of not knowing what to do.
Rainy season has started! There is no way to not get soaked during this time. Luckily it’s not every day, just a more days of torrential rain during this time.
I saw a quote that was something like “Marriage is asking each other what you want to eat until you die” haha. Hugh is sneaky as he always gets in first and asks me what we should eat so I can suggest 10 things that he can say no to. Although I can be a pickier eater, he is pickier when choosing what we should eat because he takes his food so seriously.
Nichola talks to things a lot. And I understand because we don’t have a pet so plants are her pets. That’s weird but cute. But eats mint… poor mint…
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I’ve read that when someone returns to their home, where their parents still live, they tend to act more like their teenage self and revert back to that type of behaviour. That definitely plays a part in how Hugh can act at home. He will argue with this parents, be stubborn and annoying, and torment his sister. He directs some of that sisterly torment at me too, and it’s seriously like dealing with a 16 year old sometimes. That’s not to say he is always like this, because usually he is a mature, level-headed, compassionate man, but he has his teenage times.. luckily we aren’t living here long term and will be moving to Seoul.
Hugh had already seen my sulky and moody teenage times at home in Australia so he was fully aware of that before he married me. But because we moved to Korea after 2 years of marriage, this was more of a surprise for me. In international relationships you always have that change in a partner when moving to another country. Many women married to Korean men find that after moving to Korea long term, that their carefree husband has turned into a stressed workaholic because of Korean work culture. There needs to be understanding on both sides. That’s why marriage is about deciding every day to love someone, even when they can be at their most annoying.
And I bet Hugh gets his revenge on me in a ‘My Australian Wife’ comic!
We ask questions to Australian/Korean married couples! How did you meet? What aspects of your partner’s culture have you adopted? Best and worst things about international/intercultural relationships? Advice or other couples?
Big thank you to everyone who helped us make this video!
Check out Rachel and Nick’s YouTube channel, The Drunken Bear here.
Check out Sophie’s blog on raising a bilingual child here.
There is a reason why we don’t do these videos regularly: they sure are a pain to edit! But we had been wanting to do something like this for a long time. This video is just Australian/Korean couples, but we may in the future do another video with a bigger mix of people. We wanted to focus on the culture rather than race aspects, as too often people focus on race and what people look like. But culture is what we should be talking about. How do you navigate and international and intercultural marriage? It’s an ongoing exploration and discussion.
(A video with Korean subs will be coming).