Thanks!
Well, stereotypes can be quite annoying and enduring. And even though I understand that they are not totally groundless, I also came to realise that there is always variety among any society, no matter how seemingly homogeneous. So it’s always wise to take a close look at that particular person you’re dealing with, before applying any stereotypes…
Now that you mentioned the “my parents won’t accept” excuse being used when one is not very serious about the relationship, I remembered about an English friend of mine, who “sort of” dated a Korean girl in London. He cared about her a lot, however she always acted dubious towards him: on the one hand, she showed him affection and thus lead him on, on the other – couldn’t give him any straight answers about whether she is planning her future with him. Then she said that she had a “boyfriend” back in Korea and she “couldn’t bring herself” to break up with him. Also “their parents” already expected them to “get on with it” and get married after she is back in Korea. So…she did go back and Dave never knew if she really did have a boyfriend after all. He was truly heartbroken because for him 2 years of dating was a long time and he was hopeful all along. This is when I hate this kind of….”traditionalism”.

They were just like “if you love her, we will love her”. It is very much a stereotype that Korean families don’t want their children to marry foreigners and those that get the most attention are usually the negative situations.

While many Korean families may think that they don’t want their children to marry a nonKorean, when faced with the very real situation, and seeing that their son or daughter is in love, and wants to marry a very nice person who just happens to be a foreigner, most parents find that their views are relaxed and quite easily accept the marriage.

Another thing is that plenty of people can use the “my parents won’t accept” excuse as a means of breaking up with someone without being accountable. I’m usually quite suspicious when people say “I never met his parents because they didn’t approve so he broke up with me”. It’s likely that person didn’t even tell their parents… because if someone is serious about the relationship they do everything they can to smooth things over with their parents. Once a foreigner can prove to their partner’s parents that they are a good person and respectful of Korean culture, there usually isn’t too much opposition.

But because it’s an easy excuse to blame the parents and negative things get more press, this stereotype is likely to stick around.

How much of a stereotype is it? Perhaps a lot depends on where they family are from?