So my Korean friend, she started to work at my company and I didn’t know too much about the hierarchy all I knew was that usually Asian people have this respectful way to speak with someone older and I’m 10 years younger than her (She is 34 and I 24). She called me Mendes-ssi , I was like in my mind thinking “OHHH Mendes , nobody calls me Mendes OHHHH ” then I said you can call me Ro (nickname) and she kind of ignored and kept calling me Mendes-ssi Mendes-Agassi.

As I said I have this unique way to act soooo I started to call her Kunna Queen !!!!!! Her name is Kun Na Kim !!! Could you just imagine how surprised she was ??? I was all over Kunna Queen here , Kunna Queen there. HAHAHAHHA Because I thought that she nicknamed me as Mendes-ssi and I felt like I was close enough to do the same however later she explained the hierarchy and why she called me agasshi.

I believe she regreted explaining it to me because she thought I would never dare to say something like :

” SOOOO technically you should call me 선배 HAHAHAH because I started to work here in 2012 and you in 2013 HAHAHAH ” I remember the incredible expression on her face and she saying
” OH MY GOD RO-BER-TA you are really a piece of work”
And I took it as a compliment HAHAHA then I said ” Okaay Kunna 언니!!! Come here and give me a hug!!” just to break that awkwardness between us and acted casually without making her feel uncomfortable.
Nowadays I just call her 언니 all the time and she call me Ro.

I really liked the Korean hierarchy because here in Brazil everybody treats each other in anyway there are some polite people and the other hand some deeply disrespectful and uneducated at all, rude ,treat the elderly badly, which make me sad and wanna punch somebody’s else face.Hierarchy seems to limit the lack of respect.

It is *the coolest.*

That’s a neat perspective and it does help. Like you said, the ideals underlying the practices aren’t that different. Isn’t it cool how all over the world, in so many cultures, we are all the same under the differences.

I was born and raised in Los Angeles, and went to an alternative school (which, by the way, had the best name ever: SMASH. Santa Monica Alternative School House. SMASH!) and at that school all the teachers were known by their first names. Part of the underlying idea, and something we as children absolutely absorbed, was that everyone we encountered was deserving of respect by virtue of their humanity. As a related idea, that school also taught us (in ways we could understand as children) that we lived in a democracy and had a responsibility as we grew up to be good, active citizens and uphold the idea that all people are created equal.

I say this not to imply that this way is better (I actually think the ideals underlying our two different practices aren’t all that different themselves) but just to give you another perspective on it, one that may make you feel a bit more comfortable here in the west as you raise your daughter and call elderly people by their first names. 🙂

hahah… love it that you find this too 🙂

The line might be much, much further along in English, but there is still a line!! hahahaha

Oh yes, sometimes people get a bit carried away at the freedom they have in English! It is like…. okay just let us drink and relax a bit first AND THEN you can tell us this.

I know what you mean. There are benefits to each type of society. My opinion is constantly changing about it.