Intercultural Life
Relationships with Koreans- friendships and romance
Best thing about a nice hotel room… eating what we want while watching TV in bed. We like watching the Hip Hop audition show Show Me The Money. Because we live with Mr Gwon’s parents, we really don’t have much control over what TV we watch. We don’t have a TV in our room and we can’t just watch whatever we want. (If I never see another 막장 drama again it will still be too soon…)
Awww so sweet.
In other news, we are super busy right now. The book is going to be released NEXT MONTH and we still have so much to do. Also my brother and sister are visiting for a week soon so we will be travelling around. There may be less comics and videos this month. Once this hectic time has finished we will go back to a normal schedule.
He likes big butts and he cannot lie….
One interesting aspect of being married – or even being around – someone from another culture who speaks English as a second language is the way they can say things that kinda sound offensive but it’s meant as a compliment. Sophie and I mentioned it in a video and talked about our husbands saying things like, “I like it when you are a bit chubby”. For us there can be negative connotations to things like that, but it’s not meant in a negative way. The same way the first time Koreans told me that I have a small face, I thought they were insulting me.
It’s also interesting the way standards for beauty often relate to things that are unobtainable for some people. I’m always amazed to see butt padding or “butt bras” in Korean underwear shops for women to make their butts look bigger.
For me, comments about the size of my rear end can carry the remnants of embarrassing moments from teenage years. Although I was always considered to be on the thinner size, I’ve never been flat in that area. One teenage moment that springs to mind was dressing up as the Spice Girls with friends, and I was ‘Posh Spice’ and wearing a tight dress. Another girl rudely commented about how big my butt was in front of everyone… Combine that with reading magazines containing articles about how to make your butt smaller and tighter…
None of that matters now, and I’ve learning to shake off that negativity. Beauty can be so subjective. Whatever shape you are, there will be someone who likes it.
I just still sometimes have that 1 second of thinking something is an insult before realising it’s a compliment.
This is quite a long video because there are a lot of things to talk about. Sophie and I will address certain topics more in depth later so now is the time to ask questions!
Everyone has different experiences but Sophie and I made a list of a bunch of things to consider when dating a Korean guy with the intention of marriage.
Okay, if you have a Korean partner you have probably experienced this. It’s a silly thing that Koreans start doing as children and something that many adults continue to do, much to the annoyance of others. The hands are placed in a certain way… and the butt is the target. There is a reason that one of the first things I learnt how to say in Korean was “똥꼬 안돼!”
I woke up in a dream, thinking that I was back in Australia with my family and I was so happy. Then I wake up and realise that was just a dream and that I’m in Korea and things are terrible. Then I wake up really this time and realise I’m in Korea and everything is fine. This happened the other day and I had to make a comic about it.
What I think my subconscious is working through is this: I have a wonderful family and it’s hard to leave them, not only in the sense of leaving home and leaving my country, but in the sense of leaving and starting my own family. It’s a natural part of life but it can be difficult. My mind was probably questioning whether I’d made the right choices, what if what I chose was really bad? How does it compare to my life with my family? The dream gave me the scenario of that alternative reality. Then I woke up really and was a bit disorientated by these dreams. I go downstairs and find my wonderful husband (who would never act badly like that really) simply sitting on the floor exercising. He greets me with a big smile and I realise how wrong that dream was.
What the bad version of my husband said was also an indicator of some things I do find difficult in Korea. I am the only white person around here and people do come to look at me. Older people touch my white skin. Most days it’s fine but some days I really dislike having to be introduced to many people. But now everyone around here knows who I am so that situation doesn’t really happen, or it’s actually something different. For example the other day my husband called me downstairs and I had a moment of feeling, “I hope it’s not more random people who want to see me,” but actually he just wanted me to see the huge fish a neighbour had caught. (Those that follow Facebook and Instagram would have seen the photo).
We are resuming comics from today but we are not yet sure when we will start videos again.
He doesn’t like popcorn! Who doesn’t like popcorn?! I love popcorn but didn’t get it all the time in Australia because it’s ridiculously expensive at the cinema. It’s cheaper in Korea so I always want it. He hates it and gets dried squid instead. Popcorn is obviously not a high priority for him when we are rushing to go see a movie.
He has also become interested in fashion that is a bit “younger” than what his countryside friends wear which is why he was stopping to look at snapbacks. When he sees his friends here they comment that he still looks like a university student. Meanwhile his friends have settling into more middle aged style of clothing and have aged more due to heavy smoking and drinking.
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